You’re doing the work – searching, learning, advocating – because the system doesn’t just hand you answers. Get the answers you need now.
Experiential Life
One Place | Less Overwhelm | More Support
Open Letter to the Moms Running on Peppermint Mocha Lattes and Scotch Tape
When you’re raising a neurodivergent child, the holidays hit differently. This letter is for you, if you are ready to ditch the Holiday Pinterest Boards and don’t know where to start.
If you love the holidays as much as you don’t… You’re not alone.
And if you’re like me, right now you are dreading the holiday season.
Not because you’re ungrateful.
Not because you don’t love your family.
Not because you don’t enjoy the magic of the season.
But because you know what December actually looks like inside your home:
The sensory overload.
The disrupted routines.
The unpredictable school schedule.
The well-meaning relatives with their not-so-helpful commentary.
The group chat planning marathons.
The social pressure to “make memories” when you’re just trying to make it through the day.
You can love your child fiercely
and still feel overwhelmed by the reality of the holiday season with a neurodivergent kid.
Let’s just call that what it is:
Being a mom, who makes all the plans, buys all the gifts, and creates all the magic.
You’re not failing - the holidays are just not built for families like ours.
And honestly? They’ve never been.
Holiday traditions were not created with sensory needs in mind.
Or communication differences.
Or rigid routines.
Or food aversions.
Or sensory needs.
Or parents who are already burned out by October, let alone December.
Holiday traditions were built around what was convenient for adults – not what’s realistic for kids.
Especially our kids.
So if part of you is already thinking:
“I don’t have it in me this year.”
“I can’t do that huge dinner again.”
“I don’t want to explain our choices to people who don’t get it.”
…there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not difficult.
You’re not Scrooge.
You’re paying attention.
The truth you already know but haven’t said out loud:
You can’t keep doing holidays the way your family has always done them.
You’ve tried.
You’ve stretched yourself thin.
You’ve forced yourself to “push through.”
You’ve bent over backward to spare other people’s feelings.
And you know what it cost you?
Your peace.
Your child’s peace.
The entire point of the holiday.
At some point, the reality hits:
“This isn’t sustainable.”
That’s not failure – that’s clarity.
So here’s your permission slip for this year:
You do not have to:
❌ attend every event
❌ force joy
❌ let people guilt you
❌ host the entire family
❌ explain your boundaries for the 47th time
❌ uphold traditions that don’t serve your family
❌ set yourself on fire to keep other people warm
What you can do is prioritize:
✔️ predictability
✔️ low-demand days
✔️ sensory-friendly plans
✔️ smaller gatherings
✔️ routines that matter
✔️ downtime
✔️ actual connection
Black-and-white thinking tells you it’s either:
“go all in”
or
“cancel everything.”
No.
There’s a third option:
Do the holidays differently – on purpose.
On your terms.
In a way that actually works for your neurodivergent child and your nervous system.
And you don’t have to figure out HOW alone.
I know how heavy this season can feel.
I also know how much lighter it becomes when you have a plan – one that actually fits your child and your family.
That’s why Sharon Medina and I are hosting a conversation about creating a calmer, easier, more intentional December:
Expert Advice: How to Manage Holiday Meltdowns, Stress, and Anxiety
🗓️ December 4 at 7PM EST
📲 Replay included inside the Experiential Life App
👉 Register here
We’re talking about:
✔ scripts you can use with family (even the pushy ones)
✔ how to prep your child for the break so meltdowns decrease
✔ how to reduce YOUR anxiety before December even starts
You don’t need a picture-perfect holiday.
You need a peaceful one.
And you deserve support while you create it.
With you (for real),
Christy 💕
AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.