Parenting

The Hidden Problem With Disability Resources
- by Christy
The Hidden Problem With Disability Resources

($30,000 and a stack of referrals later)

Yesterday, our little island was issued a blizzard warning… and it reminded me of the day the pediatrician said, “Christy, I think your son is autistic.”
All those years ago, when the pediatrician dropped what felt like a bomb in my lap – we were ordered to evacuate because a hurricane was barreling toward us… and it felt like some sort of sign from the universe.
My brain screamed, “RUN” from all the chaos…
And in answer to the chaos surrounding me, I got a stack of referrals and a few pamphlets… in the midst of “ways to prepare for the incoming storm.”
Okay universe… I am paying attention.

Why Families Feel Like They Are Failing

That year, we spent $30,000 out of pocket seeing every specialist and therapist we got referred to.
I was juggling work, multiple appointments a week, two different schools, insurance calls, and two older kids with full lives of their own.
My husband was working nights. We were always in the car. Always coordinating. Always reacting.
And I broke.
Not because of my autistic son…
But because I felt like I was alone, in the middle of the storm, with information being thrown at me – decisions to be made – and yet no real and meaningful support behind me.
No one explained how the systems worked.
No one translated the language.
No one said, “This is hard to navigate… let me help.”

You Can’t Navigate What You Don’t Understand

So I started asking.
I sent cold emails. Made cold calls. Showed up to meetings. I wanted to know:
❓ What am I supposed to do?
❓ What do these acronyms and words actually mean?
❓ Is there help for the medical debt?
❓ How is anyone supposed to work 40 hours while caregiving 24/7?
The answers to most of my questions existed – but they didn’t live where I expected to find them…
They live in the heads of the people who work in the systems – which is bonkers!

Over the last decade, I’ve worked with more than 1,000 families and partnered with over 100 providers, professionals, agencies, and hospital systems.
I’ve managed federal and state funding, and sat inside the systems families are expected to navigate alone.
I learned how they work – from the inside.
Not from pamphlets.
Not from Facebook groups.
From the rooms where decisions are made.
And what I realized is this:
Families aren’t failing.
They’re navigating complex, siloed, and hard to understand systems.

Access Shouldn’t Depend On Luck, Word Of Mouth, Or Who You Meet

It’s been almost 15 years since my son’s diagnosis… and not much has changed.
2 years ago, I started hosting presentations from local disability organizations for my son’s inclusive theater group.
Afterward, parents kept coming up to me.
Thanking me.
Asking follow-up questions.
Writing names and taking numbers like they’d just been handed a lifeline.
Over and over, I heard the same sentence:
“How did I not know this existed?”
These weren’t new or exclusive organizations.
Families just didn’t know they existed – because you don’t know what to search for if you don’t know something exists.

That’s when it clicked.
Access to information, resources, and support depended on word of mouth, luck, and who happened to be in the room.
I couldn’t live with families’ access to support depending on who they know instead of what they need.

One Place. Less Overwhelm. More Support

This is what I wish someone had handed me instead of a stack of referrals.

That’s why I built Experiential Life.
Not another stack of referrals.
Not another 40-tab research spiral.
A place where families go to:
→ Meet the people that work inside the systems – so you don’t have to search for them
→ Understand why the school won’t give your child more speech services, when the developmental pediatrician said they need more.
→ Get the words to say on the phone when insurance denies your request for therapy that will help your child buckle their seatbelt.
→ Stay up to date with policy and funding changes that happen every year
→ Be in a community that shares your struggles and understands why socks with seams are enemy number 1 in the morning rush.

We shouldn’t need to change careers to understand the systems.
We shouldn’t need honorary legal, medical, and educational degrees.
It should be easier to get support and services for our neurodivergent children.
If you’re tired of feeling like you were handed a stack of referrals in the middle of a hurricane, and told, “Godspeed,” this space was built for you.
AND, if any of this resonates, please share this article with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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When “Support” Feels Like Punishment: 3 Questions To Ask Before Emailing the IEP Team
- by Christy
When “Support” Feels Like Punishment: 3 Questions To Ask Before Emailing the IEP Team

“Am I overreacting – I just need someone to tell me what to do.”

Last week, a parent asked:
“What would you do if your child was told they can no longer eat lunch in the cafeteria — they have to eat in a classroom with their aide?”
And honestly?
I was speechless at first.

When Punishment Is Disguised As Support

I remember the cafeteria – loud, and sometimes smelly. The clanking of trays, the laughing, the sound of sneakers squeaking on the floor, the mixture of overcooked canned green beans mixed with slightly burnt french fries …
It’s kind of a sensory nightmare – and it’s also a necessary break from the rigidness of the classroom.
So I asked, “How long does your child have to eat lunch in the classroom? And what happened?”
Her child loves being social and like many of our kids, struggles to make friends.
On this particular day, they were eating at the table, and they kept trying to join the conversation – and kept getting ignored, kept seeing eyes roll, kept hearing whispers and laughter around him…
And it was too much. They jumped up to run to the bathroom, and in the process hit the table and sent trays and lunch boxes flying.
That’s it. That’s the moment when the teacher and principal decided they should have a “quiet place to eat.”
But is that what this child actually needs – more importantly, is it what they want?
Behavior is communication.
And lunch is part of the school day.
Which means the IEP applies there too.
There should be services, supports, and accommodations in place to help them navigate transitions, social interactions, and sensory overload – including lunch and recess.
So when the email came in and said, “we want to support your child so they have a safe and calm lunch experience…”
It sounded a lot more like removing their child… in order to keep the peace.

It’s Easy to Go Into Mama Bear Mode

When she asked me, “Am I overreacting?” I heard the words she didn’t say:
“This feels wrong. I am pissed, I am sad, and I have no idea what to say or do.”
Because that’s the part we don’t talk about.
The moment after something happens – after the email, after the phone call, after the food flies…
When your chest is tight and your brain is already drafting the email.
You open a blank message to the IEP team, stare at the cursor blinking – it feels like it’s taunting you…
You are thinking about what you want to say vs. what you should say. What they’re going to think when you do drop off tomorrow – what they’re saying behind your back, before the next meeting…
It feels like you’re spiraling.
You feel protective.
You feel angry.
You feel like your child is being punished for their diagnosis.
Those feelings are legit – valid – true for you.

AND there are moments when the most powerful move isn’t louder - it’s clearer.

AND there are moments when the most powerful move isn’t louder – it’s clearer.
Sometimes you have to think two steps ahead.
To respond strategically – not just react emotionally.
I wanted to slow her down.
Not because she was wrong.
Not because the cafeteria decision didn’t deserve scrutiny.
But because before she emailed the IEP team, I wanted her to know:
→ What does your child actually need right now?
→ What exactly are you asking the school to change?
→ Is this a behavior problem… or a support problem?
Because those are not the same thing.
And the answer changes everything about what you say next.

The Question Most Families Skip

Before you fire off the email to the principal, you have to ask:
What does the IEP already say about transitions? About social support? About regulation?
Because removing a child from lunch doesn’t teach regulation – and it feels a lot like punishment.
And when a child is separated from peers as a response to behavior, that’s often a signal that the IEP needs to be revisited – not that the child needs more consequences.

This Is What Your IEP Team Should Be Doing

The IEP is a living document – you don’t set it and forget it.
It’s supposed to be updated as progress is made, or not.
And sometimes – it needs to be revised – right in the middle of the year.
If you are unsure, ask yourself:
❓ Are the goals aligned with my child’s needs right now?
❓ Are the supports in place for my child or for compliance?
❓ Is the plan individualized, based on my unique child and their educational needs?
When families understand how to evaluate what’s written, how it’s being implemented, and how to request changes mid-year – it stops feeling like a fight and it starts feeling the the next right move.
They know what to ask.
They know what to look for.
They know what to say.
And they stop second-guessing themselves.
If you’ve ever asked,
“Am I overreacting?”
What you’re probably feeling is that something doesn’t line up – and you don’t know how to say it without making it worse.
You don’t need to become an educational advocate overnight.
You don’t need to threaten due process.
And you don’t need to sit quietly and hope it resolves itself.

That’s exactly why we’re hosting the Mid-Year IEP Check-In.
We’re walking through:
✔️ How to request an IEP meeting mid-year
✔️ What to say when something feels off
✔️ How to evaluate whether supports are working
✔️ And communicate with the team – without being labeled “that parent.”
Because you don’t have to choose between staying silent and going nuclear.
There’s another option.
And once you see it, you won’t unsee it.
If you’re staring at an email draft right now…
Or you know you will be soon – this conversation was built for you.
Join us on February 19, 2026 at 12pm EST.

Grab Your Seat

If you’re not able to attend live, the replay lives inside the Experiential Life app.
You can learn more here: https://experiential-life.com/experiential-life-app/

AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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Deciding What Is Urgent When Raising A Neurodivergent Child
- by Christy
Deciding What Is Urgent When Raising A Neurodivergent Child

Last week, I hit a wall 🫠

There is so much happening in our country and around the world – and it is devastating.
I haven’t been able to focus, everything feels urgent – and I feel powerless to help.
Add to the devastating news cycle, the daily decisions:
→ What to make for dinner.
→ Gotta follow up on the Medicaid waiver denial.
→ Shoot – there are huge cuts to services for people with disabilities in our state.
→ Crap, I need to follow up with the expert presenter for next week.
→ Gotta remember he has an eye appointment this week.
→ Damn – I never followed up on the ENT referral for him.
→ And he wants his driver’s license… That’s a whole new fresh set of anxiety… if he fails, if he passes, other drivers on the road…
I feel like I can’t breathe.

Everything feels urgent - and it’s just too much

So… as one might do when faced with impossible decisions, that hit in rapid succession… I froze.
I couldn’t stay focused on just one thing – even the thing right in front of me – because they are all right in front of me…
All the time.
Demanding my attention… along with C, asking if I could please sew up the hole he put in his Captain America plushie, for the tenth time in as many minutes.

Why we jump into “Panic Mode” or “Freeze Mode”

I know what’s happening – it’s a pattern I see over and over again with families raising neurodivergent kids.
👉 Sometimes it hits after a well-visit when you’re handed 5 referrals to different therapists and specialists.
👉 Sometimes it hits after an IEP meeting when the team presents goals that just don’t sit right in your stomach.
👉 Sometimes, it’s coming home after a really long day and having to decide what to make for dinner and then actually making it.

We either panic – jump down the research rabbit hole and start making calls and decisions as if tomorrow will never come…
Or
We freeze – we make no decisions because no matter how hard we try, it feels literally impossible. We don’t know where to start… and if we’re being honest with ourselves, we’re not entirely sure how.
Both are responses to the same problem – too many decisions, with no way to tell which ones really matter right now.
I’ve worked with over 1,000 families, and every single one of them, at some point in time, hit this inflection point.
I’m pretty sure my therapist would say that it is a natural response to your overwhelmed nervous system.

The one question that breaks the pattern

Yesterday, after feeling like not doing anything was not serving me – or this community we’re building…
I asked myself the question I always ask families I work with:
“What do you need most right now?”
Prioritizing what I need to do, what I want to do, and what can wait.
I decided to focus on what is the most urgent thing on the list of a ton of things I need to take care of for C.
Highest on the list – appealing his denial for Medicaid waiver services.
I emailed an organization that will help me with the appeals process.
It didn’t solve all the problems – or help make all the decisions…But it helped me focus on one goal, one action, one potential problem solved.

Appealing the denial of services has been my biggest stressor – especially given all the changes to Medicaid (federally and in my home state of Maryland).
Once I named what was causing me the most stress (denied services and supports) and why it felt so hard to follow up on (changes to Medicaid broadly) – it allowed me to focus my energy.
Decision fatigue or decision paralysis comes when we have too many decisions to make, all at once, and they all feel urgent – and we can’t seem to prioritize them.
Once I was able to identify what I needed – I was able to continue down the line of competing priorities and make a list based on level of importance (and how easy they are to just check off).
The appeal is the one with the closest and most urgent deadline. It had to come first.
And it feels hard because it is hard – I have to understand the process, what happens next, and what my choices are…
I need someone who understands and can help me through the process – someone who works in that system and understands the rules.
When you’re raising a neurodivergent child, you don’t have the luxury of not making the decisions… and delaying decisions can feel like you’re failing your child.
So we get stuck.
But I think what we often fail to remember is that not every decision has a hard deadline.
Not every decision is urgent.
And not every decision will help us with what we need most right now.
So if you’re feeling frozen – not lazy, not failing, just overloaded – start with one question:
“What do I need most right now?”

And that my friends is why Experiential Life exists…
To help in the “in-between” moments.
When you feel the urge to research just one more thing before bed…
Or when the IEP team sends the Prior Written Notice and you just need a gut check.
When the pediatrician hands you 3 new referrals, and you don’t know who to call first or what to say when you call.
Or when you read an article that says your state is cutting over 10M from disability services, but you aren’t sure what that means.
One place. Less overwhelm. More support.
We saved you a seat

AND, if any of this resonates, please share this article with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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When IEP Progress Leads to Reduced Support: What Families Need to Know
- by Christy
When IEP Progress Leads to Reduced Support:
What Families Need to Know

They started to pull back on his 1:1 aide… and then he pulled the Fire Alarm

The IEP team saw progress, and pulled back dedicated 1:1 support.
Honestly – it felt like a moment to celebrate.
Until it wasn’t…
Because he didn’t have someone dedicated to supporting him…
When he pulled the fire alarm to get out of an assembly he didn’t want to go to.

Progress isn’t linear, and...
accommodations and supports are what make progress possible.

When I asked for an IEP meeting, I was met with, “Let’s see what happens…”
Even though the fire alarm incident caused complete chaos…
The fire department and sheriff’s office arrived on scene. The entire school evacuated. I had to pick C up – and he was completely traumatized.
To this day he randomly says, “Remember when I pulled the fire alarm. It is not for fun, it is for emergencies. It was bad that I pulled the alarm.”
Even with the trauma and chaos, the school didn’t think the lack of a dedicated aide at the time of transition between activities was the trigger point.
They wanted to see if he continued to struggle with transitions.
Friends… He did.
Not only because he tied the transition to a traumatic event, but because he struggles with transitions – and it was always a part of his IEP – until it wasn’t.
And, in the middle of the school year – when the admin and teachers felt like so much progress had been made – we held an IEP meeting to revisit “pulling back on the 1:1 support during transitions.“

To be clear - progress was made.

Progress doesn’t mean support needs vanish.
It means the support is working.
And that was the basis of my argument for the IEP meeting and continued 1:1 dedicated aide for the entire school day.
As a parent and member of the IEP team, you are allowed to push back on changes to the IEP you don’t agree with.
You are allowed to call an IEP meeting as often as necessary to make sure that the goals, accommodations, services, and supports align with your child’s educational needs.

Knowing you can call an IEP meeting at any time and doing it are not the same…

Raising neurodivergent kids means that there are a LOT of professionals, experts if you will, giving you their advice, recommendations, and creating plans for your child.
And it can be intimidating as hell.
VALID – feeling the need to say something, but not knowing what or how to say it to people who spent a crap ton of money and time to become the experts they are is intimidating.
AND…
You are also an expert.
You’ve heard it before, but it’s worth repeating…
You know your child best.

So when:
→ Data doesn’t match what you see at home
→ Supports were added informally but not written in
→ You’re told “it’s too soon” more than once
→ You leave meetings confused or dismissed
It is valid to call an IEP meeting – even if it isn’t time for the annual meeting… maybe because it isn’t time.

So you call the mid-year IEP meeting… but then what?

Families want to know that when they walk into the IEP meeting their concerns will be validated, their suggestions met with respect, and a plan that will support their child’s educational goals.
You want to advocate confidently and ensure your child’s educational plan truly fits their needs.
That’s why we invited Mallory Legg, Director of Project HEAL at Kennedy Krieger Institute, to share expert strategies to evaluate progress, adjust goals, and navigate disputes with the school team.
And you’re invited.
Join us on January 22, 2026 at 12pm EST…

If your child’s IEP goals haven’t been hitting the mark after the first few months of school, it’s time for a reset.
Mallory will share expert strategies to:
✔️ evaluate progress,
✔️ adjust goals, and
✔️ navigate disputes with the school team.
This conversation will give you the tools to advocate confidently and ensure your child’s educational plan truly fits their needs.
PSSST – it’s FREE to attend…
But we do require registration so you can get the link to join us.
Just click the button below ⬇️

We Saved You A Seat
If you’re not able to attend live, the replay lives inside the Experiential Life app.
You can learn more here: https://experiential-life.com/experiential-life-app/

AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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When Survival As A Caregiver Relies On Broken Systems
- by Christy
When Survival As A Caregiver Relies On Broken Systems

If your weekend went nothing like you hoped – if it was full of meltdowns, stress, or canceled plans – same.

I imagined baking cookies, decorating the tree, maybe driving around to look at lights before curling up on the couch for a holiday movie.
We even had tickets to see my middle son perform in the Nutcracker.
But that’s… not what happened.
We had snow on Friday, so Saturday’s performance was cancelled.
It was also my middle son’s birthday week, but with tech rehearsal, school, and work – he wasn’t home long enough to celebrate.
And C did not take any of it well.
Like, at all.

It was meltdown after meltdown.
And it was exhausting
My husband and I took turns – “tag, you’re it,” – trying to help C regulate when his nervous system was firing on all cylinders.
This, my friend, is why we need layers of support – not just strategies.

The Hidden Mental Load Caregivers Carry Every Day

I talk to families every single day who feel exactly like this – trying to survive the day they’re in, while feeling vaguely panicked about the things they might be missing for the future.
Planning for next week feels impossible.
Planning for adulthood? Out of reach.
If that sounds like you… lean in for a second.
You’re doing great.
You’re not failing your child.
You’re not behind – you’re overloaded.
Parenting is hard. Parenting a neurodivergent child in a changing, underfunded, politically volatile system is harder.
There’s no handbook, no roadmap, no checklist that fits your child exactly.
And even when you do use the tools, do the work, stay regulated, and prepare… life still happens.
Holidays still disrupt everything. Meltdowns still show up. Exhaustion still wins.

Neurodivergent Families Rely on Complex Systems of Support

And this is where it gets even more complicated.
Families like ours rely on a network of supports that should be working with us:
✔️ Schools providing accommodations and services
✔️ Funding to cover therapies, tutors, programs, and respite
✔️ Medical professionals and specialists for co-occurring conditions
✔️ Government-funded programs that allow disabled adults to live with autonomy and dignity

But this year?
Everything feels like it’s shifting, and not for the better.
Here’s why parents are feeling a level of fear, confusion, and overwhelm that’s bigger than the holidays:
● Dismantling the Department of Education
● Medicaid funding cuts + proposed changes to eligibility
● Attacks on Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act
● Public figures using slurs to describe disabled people
● Calling neurodivergent people “threats to the American way of life”
If it feels impossible to stay informed… it’s because it is.

Staying Informed Without Burning Out

You shouldn’t have to be a policy expert or stay up until 1am Googling terms you’ve never heard of just to keep your kid safe.
That’s why connection to trusted disability advocacy spaces matters.
Here are a few I rely on for accurate updates:
→ 5calls
→ KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation)
→ The Arc of the United States
→ ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network)
→ National Down Syndrome Congress
→ Little Lobbyists
They help cut through the noise – and keep families informed without doomscrolling.

A Supportive Community for Overwhelmed Families Raising Neurodivergent Children

This is also why I created Experiential Life.
Because when families feel like they’re failing, it’s almost always a reflection of the system failing them – not their parenting.
Because you don’t know what you don’t know.
And you can’t find information about something you don’t know exists.
Experiential Life was built to be the shortcut:
📲 Accurate, timely, relevant information
👩‍💻 Monthly expert calls you don’t have to chase down information
📋 Downloadable scripts and guides
💬 A private community of parents who get it
A place to land when everything feels like too much
If this feels like where you are right now – there’s room for you inside.
You don’t have to plan everything today.
But you can join the place that will have it ready when you are.

And for the month of December, I have a gift for you:

Use code CHEER25 for 30 days FREE + $10 off your monthly membership, for as long as you stay a member.
It’s support you’ll actually use – for less than a co-pay a month.

Claim Your Gift Today
AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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What We Gave Up to Feel Safe: Grieving the Loss of Family Tradition
- by Christy
What We Gave Up to Feel Safe:
Grieving the Loss of Family Tradition

Every year, as the holiday season kicks off, I find myself grieving the loss of family and friends – not because they’ve passed away – but because our relationship did.
It’s a particular kind of grief – the kind that doesn’t come with casseroles and sympathy cards.
It’s the ache of relationships changed, not by death, but by the boundaries we had to draw to protect our child.
And it’s especially loud this time of year.

The Holidays We Used to Have
There was a time when our holidays were loud.
Full of people. Packed kitchens. Kids running through the house.
The kind of chaos that exhausted me in the best way.
Until it didn’t.
Because while I was trying to recreate the magic I grew up with, my son was unraveling.
The noise, the hugs, the unpredictable conversations and overstimulation – it wasn’t festive to him. It was torture.
And every year, I tried to manage it.
Prep him. Pre-warn family. Pack fidget toys and extra snacks.
Smile politely while people said things like,
“Just send him outside with the other kids, he’ll be fine.”
Until the cost became too high.

The Boundaries We Had to Set

So we started saying no.
No to parties that went too late.
No to family members who couldn’t respect our child’s neurodivergence.
No to houses that were too loud, too crowded, too much.
It wasn’t a dramatic, one-time cutoff.
It was a slow unraveling. A pulling away. A constant recalibration.
We didn’t cut ties to be spiteful.
We made changes to stay sane.
We protected our peace because no one else was going to.
But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

The Grief of Self-Protection

I don’t think we talk enough about the grief that comes with choosing boundaries.
Not just the kind where you’re sad that something ended – but the kind where you miss the version of family you thought you’d always have.
You miss the traditions.
You miss the idea of being included.
You miss being seen without having to explain everything.
Grief isn’t always loud sobs and obvious loss.
Sometimes it’s just noticing the silence at your holiday table and wishing it didn’t have to be this way.

What We Gained (Even While We Lost)

It took years of trial, error, guilt, and therapy – but eventually, our new traditions started to stick.
We now have quieter holidays, more predictable rhythms, and less pressure to perform.
Our son is more regulated.
We are less resentful.
And honestly, that’s something worth celebrating too.
But the grief still lingers.
And that’s okay.
Because you can feel peace and pain at the same time.
You can protect your child and still wish you didn’t have to.
You can be proud of your boundaries and still miss the people they keep out.

And you don’t have to figure out HOW alone.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
And you don’t have to figure it out in isolation.
We’re having an honest, real conversation with Sharon Medina, conscious parenting coach, about how to set boundaries before the group text gets out of hand this year.
Expert Advice: How to Manage Holiday Meltdowns, Stress, and Anxiety
🗓️ December 4 at 7PM EST
📲 Replay included inside the Experiential Life App
👉 Register here
We’re talking about:
✔ scripts you can use with family (even the pushy ones)
✔ how to prep your child for the break so meltdowns decrease
✔ how to reduce YOUR anxiety before the holiday chaos begins

Let’s Make This Season Different

This year, I’m not chasing perfection.
I’m not justifying our choices.
I’m not mourning the people who don’t want to understand.
I’m holding space for what was, honoring what is, and making room for joy – even if it looks a little different now.
And if you’re doing the same?
I hope you’ll join us.
AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

Do you crave trustworthy information and resources to help you support your Neurodivergent child?
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Open Letter to the Mom Running on Peppermint Mocha Lattes and Scotch Tape
- by Christy
Open Letter to the Moms Running on Peppermint Mocha Lattes and Scotch Tape

When you’re raising a neurodivergent child, the holidays hit differently. This letter is for you, if you are ready to ditch the Holiday Pinterest Boards and don’t know where to start.

If you love the holidays as much as you don’t… You’re not alone.
And if you’re like me, right now you are dreading the holiday season.
Not because you’re ungrateful.
Not because you don’t love your family.
Not because you don’t enjoy the magic of the season.
But because you know what December actually looks like inside your home:
The sensory overload.
The disrupted routines.
The unpredictable school schedule.
The well-meaning relatives with their not-so-helpful commentary.
The group chat planning marathons.
The social pressure to “make memories” when you’re just trying to make it through the day.

You can love your child fiercely
and still feel overwhelmed by the reality of the holiday season with a neurodivergent kid.
Let’s just call that what it is:
Being a mom, who makes all the plans, buys all the gifts, and creates all the magic.

You’re not failing - the holidays are just not built for families like ours.

And honestly? They’ve never been.
Holiday traditions were not created with sensory needs in mind.
Or communication differences.
Or rigid routines.
Or food aversions.
Or sensory needs.
Or parents who are already burned out by October, let alone December.

Holiday traditions were built around what was convenient for adults – not what’s realistic for kids.
Especially our kids.
So if part of you is already thinking:
“I don’t have it in me this year.”
“I can’t do that huge dinner again.”
“I don’t want to explain our choices to people who don’t get it.”
…there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not difficult.
You’re not Scrooge.
You’re paying attention.

The truth you already know but haven’t said out loud:

You can’t keep doing holidays the way your family has always done them.
You’ve tried.
You’ve stretched yourself thin.
You’ve forced yourself to “push through.”
You’ve bent over backward to spare other people’s feelings.
And you know what it cost you?
Your peace.
Your child’s peace.
The entire point of the holiday.
At some point, the reality hits:
“This isn’t sustainable.”
That’s not failure – that’s clarity.

So here’s your permission slip for this year:

You do not have to:
❌ attend every event
❌ force joy
❌ let people guilt you
❌ host the entire family
❌ explain your boundaries for the 47th time
❌ uphold traditions that don’t serve your family
❌ set yourself on fire to keep other people warm
What you can do is prioritize:
✔️ predictability
✔️ low-demand days
✔️ sensory-friendly plans
✔️ smaller gatherings
✔️ routines that matter
✔️ downtime
✔️ actual connection
Black-and-white thinking tells you it’s either:
“go all in”
or
“cancel everything.”
No.
There’s a third option:
Do the holidays differently – on purpose.
On your terms.
In a way that actually works for your neurodivergent child and your nervous system.

And you don’t have to figure out HOW alone.

I know how heavy this season can feel.
I also know how much lighter it becomes when you have a plan – one that actually fits your child and your family.
That’s why Sharon Medina and I are hosting a conversation about creating a calmer, easier, more intentional December:
Expert Advice: How to Manage Holiday Meltdowns, Stress, and Anxiety
🗓️ December 4 at 7PM EST
📲 Replay included inside the Experiential Life App
👉 Register here
We’re talking about:
✔ scripts you can use with family (even the pushy ones)
✔ how to prep your child for the break so meltdowns decrease
✔ how to reduce YOUR anxiety before December even starts

You don’t need a picture-perfect holiday.
You need a peaceful one.
And you deserve support while you create it.
With you (for real),
Christy 💕
AND, if any of this resonates, please share this with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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How to Talk About Sex With Your Neurodivergent Child
- by Christy
How to Talk About Puberty, Sex, and Consent With Your Neurodivergent Child (Without Making It Weird)

An honest guide for parents navigating “The Talk” – with empathy, clarity, and support.

As it turns out, the smell coming from the backseat wasn’t a petrified Subway sandwich… it was puberty.
Ask me how I know 😅
First came the onion-meets-dirty-socks body odor that had me sniffing the air like a bloodhound.
Then I noticed the deeper voice, the rogue armpit hairs, the sleep schedule that made zero sense.
And then… the more subtle signs. You know the ones. (Not for public sharing – but if you’re a parent, you know.)
When my autistic son started showing interest in one of his female friends as more than a friend, I realized…
It was time.
Time for The Talk.

Why The Talk Feels Different When Your Child Is Neurodivergent

Here’s the thing – talking about relationships, consent, and sex is awkward for almost every parent.
It’s not a one-and-done convo. It’s a series of small, ongoing talks that build trust and comfort over time.
But when your child is neurodivergent, the stakes and the challenges feel higher:
👉 How do I explain this in a way they’ll actually understand?
👉 What if they never bring it up?
👉 What if I say too much… or not enough?
But here’s what’s even more important: if they don’t learn about bodies, boundaries, and relationships from you… they’ll learn it from the bus, the cafeteria, or Google. 😳
And for neurodivergent kids, that’s especially risky.

My Top 3 Tools for Teaching Puberty, Relationships, and Consent

I wasn’t ready for these conversations either – but these resources gave me the language, the confidence, and a place to start.
1. The Every Body Book of Consent
By Rachel E. Simon
This book is a must-have. It explores how consent applies far beyond sex – in family dynamics, friendships, identity, and self-respect. It’s warm, inclusive, and unpacks big topics like power, privacy, and gut feelings in a way that actually makes sense to young people.
I loved the original Every Body Book, and as soon as I saw this follow-up, I knew it was a must-have for our ongoing conversations about consent. It’s inclusive, affirming, and beautifully written.
2. Amaze.org
This site offers short, inclusive animated videos that are easy to understand and designed for a wide range of ages. They’re great for visual learners and feature neurodivergent and disabled characters – which is rare in sex ed content.
Pro tip: Watch a video together, then use the discussion prompts to keep the conversation going naturally.
3. You●ology: A Puberty Guide for EVERY Body
By Melisa Holmes, MD, Trish Hutchinson, MD, and Kathryn Lowe, MD
Written by pediatricians and grounded in science, this book uses six main characters to explain what’s happening in their bodies. It’s sensory-considerate and hilarious, which helps take the pressure off you having to get the “perfect” words right.

Still Nervous? That’s Why We Hosted the Webinar

Even with the right tools, this stuff can still feel hard.
That’s exactly why we created a real, honest conversation inside the Experiential Life App called:
“How to Talk About Sex (Even When It’s Awkward)”
Victoria Rodríguez-Roldán, J.D. is an autistic adult and Maryland’s Coordinator for State Autism Strategy. Together, we talk about how to approach these convos in a way that’s neuroaffirming, inclusive, and age-appropriate.
You’ll walk away knowing:
✅ What to say (and what not to say)
✅ How to start early, without overwhelm
✅ How to create ongoing, safe dialogue – not just a one-time “talk”

Your Next Step: Watch the Webinar Replay Inside the App

If you’re not yet part of the Experiential Life App, this is your sign to join. It’s a for-us-by-us platform designed to make life easier for neurodivergent families – a one-stop hub for real talk like this.
Inside, members can:
● Watch the full replay of How to Talk About Sex (Even When It’s Awkward)
● Access curated tools and parent resources
● Join a community of families who “get it”
Stop Googling, guessing, and avoiding the hard talks.
Watch the replay, feel equipped, and finally start the conversations that protect and empower your child.

We saved you a seat

AND, if any of this resonates, please share this article with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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Community In Action: How To Help Your Immigrant Neighbors
- by Christy
Community In Action:
How To Help Your Immigrant Neighbors

Families raising neurodivergent children already face barriers that most can’t imagine. When language, immigration status, and fear collide, those barriers become walls.

Last week an autistic 15 year old was detained by ICE.
He was working at a fruit stand with his mother and asked to use the restroom.
When he didn’t return, she obviously got worried and called the police.
She begged for them to put out an AMBER Alert, to help her find her son.
She explained that he was minimally speaking and autistic.

It took over a week for her to learn that he was picked up by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
They, nor the police, notified her within that week where her son was.
You can read more about the story here.

When Systems Fail, Community Steps In

As a mother of an autistic teen, I cannot imagine the terror this woman experienced over the days her son was gone.
As this story broke, I coincidentally had a conversation with a community member. She is a mom to an autistic boy, a paraprofessional, and helps people in her community by providing English to Spanish translation and interpretation services.
During our conversation, she asked what resources are available to immigrant families to help them talk to their neurodivergent children about ICE and the raids taking place across the country.
She said that she has been contacted by families whose children were approached by ICE while at their bus stop.
Children, some who are neurodivergent and/or receive special education services, approached by ICE while trying to get to school.
And rightfully, immigrant families are terrified.

The Silence of Organizations Who Are Supposed To Help

She reached out to organizations in her community, but found that most were unwilling to speak out or publicly share resources about ICE for fear that they would lose their federal funding.
Organizations that are funded to fill the gaps in services that the government cannot fill, are scared to support their community members for fear of retaliation.
Experiential Life does not receive federal funding…
After hearing what’s happening – and how alone families raising neurodivergent children feel – I knew I had to do something.

When The Community Steps Up

I put out a call to everyone I knew, looking for resources specifically designed to support immigrant families who are struggling to help their neurodivergent children understand:
→ what is happening with ICE,
→ what to do if they encounter ICE, and
→ organizations that are helping families right now.
The response was incredible.
Here are the resources shared by our amazing community.
It is in a Google Sheet so as more resources are directed my way, they can be added.

Representation And Compassion In Action

I am also sharing this resource created by Briana Rosales Franco, a bilingual mom raising an autistic child.
When she heard I hoped to find social stories to support neurodivergent children impacted by ICE activities in their communities, she immediately created this resource for families – in both English and Spanish!
Please share these social stories widely – and if you can – please be sure to attribute Bri.

Download in English

Download in Spanish

Download in English

Download in Spanish

Why These Stories Matter

When families are left out of the conversation, their safety – and their stories – are at risk.
The Experiential Life App exists to change that. It’s where parents, caregivers, and professionals raising neurodivergent children can share trusted resources and support, outside the walls of social media.
If this story moved you, take one more step: share these resources and share Experiential Life.
Because connection is how we keep each other safe.
If any of this resonates, please share this article with your network and subscribe to the newsletter to get instant access to future articles, weekly advocacy tips, exclusive event invites, and news you can use.

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Simple Tips That Will Help Your Neurodivergent Child Enjoy Family Events
- by Christy
Simple Tips That Will Help Your Neurodivergent Child Enjoy Family Events

Family Events Shouldn’t Feel Like a Trade-Off

Do large family events trigger your neurodivergent child? Do you decline attending or even hosting because the exchange of extended family time for a meltdown is an exchange not worth making?
Not to be dramatic, but after 16 years of parenting an autistic child, we’ve cracked the code to making family events tolerable for everyone.

When Family Events Just Feel Too Hard

On Friday, my father-in-law turned 90 – And a 90th birthday requires a celebration.
But big parties, large events, and long stretches sitting at a table to eat are like kryptonite to C (my autistic teen).
For a long time, we just stopped going to and hosting family events. They triggered meltdowns. Well-meaning people inserting themselves with (un)helpful advice or offers to calm him down. None of which helped.
It only made the meltdown worse – keeping us locked in a space no one wanted to be in any longer.
We thought hosting would fix it. It didn’t.
Then we started hosting parties. We could control the people, and C is comfortable in our space.
And it worked better, but he still hated people touching his things, feeling forced to be present – at the table or in the family room – with ALL the people.
Letting C Decide Changed Everything
One holiday, as a family, we agreed C should join when he wanted, how he wanted – and that’s when everything changed for us.

The Moment Everything Changed

We spent so much time worrying about accommodating everyone else’s needs – we forgot that it’s our son who needs the most accommodations and support.
It sounds silly, looking back.
But that’s ableism at work…
Ableism is when people treat someone unfairly or unkindly because they have a disability.
It’s when someone thinks a person isn’t as smart, strong, or important just because they move, talk, think, or learn differently.

Everyday Examples of Ableism in Real Life
It shows up in a lot of ways – some obvious, some subtle:
→ Assuming someone isn’t smart or can’t understand just because they don’t speak.
→ Making spaces, events, or services that don’t consider mobility, sensory, or communication needs.
→ Praising someone for “overcoming” their disability instead of accepting them as they are.
→ Acting like accommodations are “special treatment” instead of basic access.
→ Designing rules, policies, or expectations based on what works best for non-disabled people and calling it “fair.”

It wasn’t until we recognized our ableism, C’s sensory needs, and let go of our expectations, that we truly accommodated C.

We had to let go of our desire to make other people feel comfortable.

5 Things That Helped C Enjoy Family Events

So… what changed?
Honestly? We stopped accommodating and trying to meet everyone else’s expectations and started focusing on what C needs.
– Not some Pinterest version of a perfect party.
– Not what makes Gungle feel like he’s bonding.
– Not even what we were raised to believe family gatherings should look like.
To be clear: this didn’t happen overnight. It took trial and error, a few arguments, and a lot of tears.
But once we stopped pushing C to participate in the way everyone else expected, everything started to shift.
This next part isn’t a magic fix. It’s just what’s worked for us over time – and it might give you a place to start.
Here are 5 things that work for us:
✔️ We talk about the family event no less than 1 week before. We tell him who is coming, when they will arrive, what we plan to do, and what time we expect people to leave.
✔️ We keep talking about the event throughout the week – sometimes he will come to us hours after we talk about it to ask questions. We know he needs time to process change and wants a bit of control over what the change will look like.
✔️ C doesn’t have to engage with the event or guests at all – unless he chooses to. This is his home, his room is off-limits to guests, but he gets to choose where he wants to be – and we work around that.
✔️ He doesn’t have to eat with us. He has a routine around food and mealtimes. Parties and events disrupt the routine – he can choose to eat with us (sometimes he does), or he can choose to stick to his routine.
✔️ When everyone is leaving, he can choose to say goodbye, give hugs, or keep his distance. Once everyone has left, he gets as much time and space to decompress in his room (his safe space) as needed. We drop ALL expectations and demands. If he wants his normal bedtime routine, we do it – but if he needs to hide under the covers with the iPad until he falls asleep – that’s what he gets.

It’s Hard, But You’re Not Alone

It’s hard to feel disconnected from family and friends – and know that big, loud, crowded events can be a sensory nightmare for our neurodivergent kids.
It’s also hard to explain to family and friends why we parent the way we do – it is a low-demand and much softer approach to parenting.
But meltdowns and tears – plus missing our family and friends – led us to this approach.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
How do you navigate family functions or parties with friends?
I’d love to hear how your family navigates events, parties, and/or holidays. Drop your go-to strategies in the comments below.
And if this helped, send it to someone in your circle. Want more like this? Subscribe to get future tips, stories, and support from the Experiential Life community.
Do you crave trustworthy information and resources to help you support your Neurodivergent child?
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